For many couples, the first step into spicing up the bedroom life is to dabble into the world of BDSM. With the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey and more mainstream media sharing bits and pieces of what goes on behind closed doors in the BDSM world. It has become more and more popular in households across the world and plays a big part in many relationships and marriages abroad.

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What is BDSM?
BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves as practicing BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture is usually dependent on self-identification and shared experience.

Here are some tips for opening the door to exploring BDSM:

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Tip Number 1: Communicate, Communicate, and Then Communicate Some More
You and your partner need to understand each other’s needs, desires and turn-on’s. Sometimes it takes several conversations before a submissive feels safe enough to confide in you as to what they really would like from you. Communicating isn’t only important in a physical sense, just confiding in your partner can take a lot of courage and trust.
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Tip Number 2: Trust Is A Must
Trust is earned and can take a very long time to establish with your partner. Once you have established limits and discussed safe words, you will then be putting your pleasure, pain and enjoyment in the hands of your partner. It is KEY to trust and be trustworthy.
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Tip Number 3: Have A Plan
Have an idea of what you both are interested in trying out on each other both together as well as individually. Having a plan helps you insure you have all the proper toys, tools, and necessities to assist in your properly executed BDSM fun. Lubricants, cleansing towels, and other items come in handy during your planning phase.
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Tip Number 4: Take Baby Steps
It may seem obvious that if you are with someone who truly knows you, that the conversation should be a breeze. However, a generally dominant personality that chooses a submissive role in bed or vice versa, this could come as a shocker. Baby steps help you ease into various forms of the BDSM world and give you time to learn what works and what doesn’t work for you and your partner. Perhaps, whispering “Do you have anything to tie me up with” may work more in your favor then surprising him with the topic at dinner. It is also suggested for dominants to also approach their partner in a heightened sexual state: “Tell him ‘I want to try something a little different.; Now, [this isn’t a cue] to whip out a huge dildo and a strap-on harness. Maybe hold his hands down above his head as you make love to him from on top. OR … control when he is allowed to have an orgasm. Again… baby steps.”
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Tip Number 5: Controlling Stereotypes
All submissives don’t have daddy or mommy issues, and all Dominants aren’t also sociopaths. “Men that are submissive are not less than: Being a beta male to a woman, does not make him weak. Respect him for his appreciation of you and how he trusts that you know what is best. This also does not mean, he is a Beta male in all walks of his life. He can still be Alpha in his day to day life but may just love having a strong woman he can come home to and kneel by her feet.” That’s right, if you’re looking to delve into BDSM, check those assumptions at the door, because they will only get in the way of living out your fantasies.
L'Amour Secret offers a variety of products that open up the door for beginners trying out different forms of BDSM play for the first time. Our boxes offer everything from erotic sensation play to rope bondage and even extreme spanking, flogging and pain inflicting play. It’s as easy as register, order and receive your first box to unleash your ultimate fantasies!

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